Forgiveness is a process. It’s not something that just happens over night. But no matter how long it takes, you can totally learn how to forgive yourself. Ditch the murky lenses that encourage you to look for flaws or examples of lack, and trade them in for a shiny new perspective and self-love!
Whatever it may be, ask yourself what value comes from holding onto these stories? Are they really adding value? Are they bringing you closer to creating more of what you want in life?
These stories weigh us down. They hold us back from love, expansion, prosperity and feeling the way we really want to feel. They’re keeping us in the past and likely tainting us present. It’s time to let them be what they are: history. You don’t have to carry them with you. Here are some steps to take you on that journey.
Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean you’re free from the consequences of your actions. Yes, there will be consequences, but those consequences don’t have to include feeling guilt, shame or depression. They aren’t going to make you resourceful or stronger. In fact, they’ll weaken you and make it harder for you to recover. You owe it to yourself to keep your vibrations high so that you can help navigate out of any situation in the fastest and best way possible.
Here are 8 ways to learn how to forgive yourself and learn to love yourself more fully.
Become Clear On Your Morals & Values
The reason most of us feel guilt or shame for actions done in the past is because those actions are not in line with our current morals and values. Our past wrongs can actually clue us in to what we hold important. By identifying our morals and values, we start to get a clearer picture as to “why” we’re hurting over what we’ve done, or what others did to us.
Realize The Past Is The Past
This seems fairly straightforward, but when we can really wrap our head around the fact that we can’t undo the past, we open ourselves up to more acceptance. Increased acceptance can lead to the emotional healing we are all looking for.
Create A Re-Do
Write down how you would have done things differently if you could go back and do it again. In doing so, we affirm that we not only learned from our past mistake, but that if we had the skills we have now, back then, we would have done things differently.
Cut Yourself A Break
The way we respond depends on the skills we have, the frame of mind we’re in, and how we perceive the situation at that moment. Maybe we didn’t have as much objectivity, or acted out of survival or protection mode. Maybe we let our stress build up, which put us at a higher risk of responding poorly. Whatever the factors, cut yourself a break. If you learn from it, it was never in vain.
Start Acting In Accordance With Your Morals & Values
The best thing you can do in order to forgive is start replacing the negative behavior and thoughts with more appropriate ones that are congruous with your morals and values. By so doing, you reaffirm to yourself that you can handle situations in the way you want to. This can lead to a sense of pride, which is a huge part of building self-esteem.
Turn The Page
At some point, you have to accept that the past has happened and you’ve done everything in your power to amend past mistakes. It’s now time to turn the page and accept those events as part of your story. They’ve all contributed to making you who you are. Being grateful for those experiences allows you to move on and truly forgive yourself.
Cut Yourself Some Slack
When we learned how to ride a bike, most of us realized it would probably take a few tries before achieving perfection. New behavior and thinking patterns are no different. They’re both skills. Cut yourself some slack while you’re on a new learning curve. Realize that you’re going to make mistakes. We all do.
Move Toward Self-Love
The last step in learning to forgive yourself is moving toward loving yourself. Think kind thoughts toward yourself and show yourself some compassion. If we can learn to think of ourselves as our best friend, to speak to ourselves with love and kindness, and put ourselves as a priority, that will reaffirm that we believe we are worth it. Seek outside perspectives with books on the subject or maybe even psychotherapy/coaching. Engage in psychotherapy or coaching if you need some outside perspective in this area.
You are so much more than your past mistakes! And I promise you that you are beyond worth it.
Today, let’s forgive ourselves, so we can move on and get unstuck. Peel back the layers that cover you heart and cloud your spirit, then yes; please forgive. Those layers of resentment, sadness and a competitive mindset keep you hostage to fear! Forgive yourself, forgive the circumstances and allow yourself to let go with your whole heart so you can begin anew. Move forward with confidence that you hold the power to choose differently this time.
Forgiveness is not about dismissing events or people’s words and actions as if they didn’t happen (and yes, this includes yourself). It simply allows you to soften and have more compassion toward yourself and others. In turn, it allows you to see more clearly with a new and loving perspective.
Ultimately, you’re letting go of what no longer serves you. You’re freeing up space in your mind, body and overall spirit for creativity to flow, more joy, more abundance and more ease to listen to your intuition. And that’s truly the best way to start living a life you love.
+What other ways have you used to be able to forgive yourself? Tell me in the comments below!
Much love and good luck