Everyone has their own interpretation of what self-love means to them. But on the most general level, self-love has a lot to do with discovering and accepting who we really are by expanding our awareness. And the more we discover, the more aware we become of certain limiting beliefs we didn’t even know were there.
For example, my number one limiting belief is “I’m not good enough.” I have let this belief back me into a corner for years. Especially when it comes to my music. As much as I love listening to and writing music, there are times this belief whispers in my ear just listening to the radio! At one point I stopped performing, I stopped recording and I stopped writing all together. This belief had me convinced that I was never going to reach my goals in music, in love and life in general.
Trying my best to pinpoint where this belief came from, I started thinking about how horrible I was in school. My brother and sister were both A/B students and really involved in extracurricular activities. But for some reason, I spent middle school & high school just barely passing most of my classes. I was disruptive and never able to concentrate. I would study for tests, but usually end up failing. Looking at my siblings go through school with flying colors, I convinced myself there was no use trying because “I wasn’t good enough!”
Was this belief true? I definitely thought so and thought I had the “proof” to back it up. Unfortunately, I let this belief seep into every nook and cranny of my life. Anytime I came across something difficult I automatically assumed, I’m not good enough, and gave up. I unknowingly set limitations on my life.
That’s the thing about our limiting beliefs. They can consume our entire lives without us being even slightly aware of what’s happening. It will sound perfectly reasonable and valid and you can probably come up with lots of evidence to support it.
Your limiting beliefs have shaped everything you do. They have prevented you from seeing opportunities and maybe even discouraged you from trying at all.
My challenge for you today is this: take one limiting belief and start questioning that belief. I want you to analyze how this limiting belief fuels your negativity and how your negativity fuels this belief.
Use these questions to help you dig deeper:
- When does this limiting belief pop up?
- How does it make you react?
- Is this belief really true?
- Can you pinpoint when this belief came about?
- What is the opposite of this belief? Now reason why this opposing statement is also true in your life (and give examples).
- How does this opposing statement make you feel?
Now it’s your turn!
Identify & Release Your Limiting Beliefs
Write Down Your Limiting Beliefs
Time to play detective and embody your inner Olivia Benson. Follow your thoughts and emotions to discover all the limiting beliefs that hold you back. Jot them down and stare them right in the face! You might want to rate how strong each belief is on a scale 1-10 (10 being the strongest) and what specific emotions they give rise to.
Read each statement and ask yourself if you believe it. Write down why you believe each one. Dig deep and identify the source if you can. Even if you’re not totally certain of where the belief came from, write down any ideas.
Acknowledge That They Are Only Beliefs
“But, my limitations are real!” I know how you feel . . . but this is where choice comes in. Which sounds more beneficial: defending your limitations to the death or achieving your goals and desires? As author Evelyn Waugh wrote, “When we argue for our limitations, we get to keep them.”
Destroy & Recreate
When you find a limiting belief to be untrue, you’ll need to develop a clear statement that invalidates it. Use your imagination and try on a belief that is aligned with what you want. The trick is to go beyond just saying it. You really want to step into this new belief and feel it completely. Take your time on this step. Create a brand new, positive belief to take the place of each of your old beliefs.
Act as if your new belief is true. In other words, if you really have learned from past financial difficulties, what steps can you take? If you really are confident in your own skin, what does that look like? This will feel uncomfortable and scary, but
Take time to reflect and seek inner peace. Shift your focus on what’s going on inside of you. Examine your own beliefs to heal old wounds. Make a commitment to increase your awareness every time one of your old beliefs pop up and replace them with the new belief you’ve chosen. We’re in this together babe, and I totally believe in you!
+What limiting beliefs hold you back the most? How have you cut ties with your limiting beliefs in the past? Let me know in the comments below.
Much love & good luck